' 09

Aah…. So! A new year… AGAIN?!?!  I was as it is facing a tough time getting used to the tortures of what the last year had been throwin up right on my face… without a wee bit sympathy and now I am expected to face another year???!!  I right now feel and also get the picture of how can I summarize my present tactics of existing. I am running. Running where? In a tunnel. Running why? Because I should. or else I falter. Running from what? From reality.

          Yes. The past entire year I was running from something which was ACTUALLY ALL THERE AROUND ME…IN REALITY…I was running towards the end of the dark tunnel which shone so brightly to me….I wanted to have that escape route. PRONTO. 

          Little did i know...its all of no use... The year end had some very trying times for me. I realized it was not what i had wished for. Nor did it turn out to be what i had dreamt of. aaha...but then this was reality. Dreams have no place here. How lame of me! Someone had  recently ( last year to be precise) had made this very clear to me...That I cannot for long, turn a blind eye to all thats happening about me. I cannot turn my face away from "NOW" and turn it towards "WHAT IS NOT". What would i like to change about the past year? Honestly, nothing. All i would want, is an explanation as to why things happened the way they did. What hopes have i got from the coming year? None. Blunt. From under estimating myself,  to over estimating myself. From being restless for results, to being patient enough to sit back and see the drama unfold. From cursing people, to getting cursed. From being tired of explaining, to being happy to let my silence speak. I HAVE DONE IT ALL LAST YEAR.  And I could give my right eye to prove, taht the pattern this year too, would be the same. 

              I would like to believe I am not a pessimist ( though some peeps who know me wud beg to differ). Havin said in my last post of last year "evrything happens for the best " .  My only regret being the reasons SURFACE too late. So this year is gonna be another test for my patience. And i hope to rise back from ashes,  like the proverbial phoenix, to a point where i find reasons in everything that happens. Even a reason for--- why did i see KRAZZY 4, ONE, TWO, THREE and Jaane tu ya jaane watever..... :)

Have a rollercoaster year ahead.

LUV N LUCK..

PRATYUSHA.